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The List by Emily Brochin [Photo by God] I was in denial. Having a party and too much to read - drunk the night before - I ignored it till it was too late and we were hauling a keg back from North Providence in a pinto bean on wheels and hiding the penis cactus in case anyone got any ingenious ideas. And it then dawned on me that no, I could not wear those jeans to my own party because somehow, in the warped planet of pants, mine had given up the ghost and I, too cheap to replace them, had taken to waddling around, with nothing but a prayer and good karma to hold them up. That there was the very real potential of unwanted exposure, perhaps in such |
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a dignified action as tapping the keg. And no, the shirt could not stay either as it had belonged to a dead relative and you can not - absolutely not - wear a dead person's clothes to a party, as indie rock as all its implications may imply. So the quest for Something to Wear commenced and ran amuck and reserves were called in and counseling commenced and the executive director vetoed everything, and interns were running up and down stairs bearing armloads of frilly things, tight things, things with missing arms, zippers, buttons, ties, complicated pulley systems, bullet casings, and Bazooka Joe wrappers. In a moment of madness, I attempted to construct a jumpsuit made entirely of abalone using tooth floss and a Goldman's peanut chew, but was dissuaded from my plot by lack of dexterity or opposable thumbs. In the end, I wore nothing and died in obscurity. The horror.
Thursday, September 19 10am: Decorate my Sukkah. Sharpe Park, Waterman Street, sponsored by the party-hearty Brown Hillel. NOON: I was determined to build an unfriendly home until I heard about Bob Chew's lecture: "Building the Earth-friendly Home." At the Urban Environmental Lab. Shout out to Louella. 4pm: See if you can get there before Lance Bass. "The Odyssey Mission to Mars: Recent Results and Future Plans," Steve Saunders in the motherfuckin Jet Propulsion Lab, room 115 of MacMillan Hall. 5pm: Poor Richard Terek just can't get a break. Event of the Day, "Pelvis," was consigned to the unfortunate location of morgue in the RI Hospital. Go anyway. Bring your autograph books. 9:30pm: Definitive Jux Revenge of the Robots tour feat. El-P, Mr. Lif, RJD2, Cage, Copywrite, DJ Fakts One. 15 pavos. For backpacking hiphoppers, with love. Lupo's. Friday, September 20 TIME AND LOCATION UNKNOWN, BUT EASILY OBTAINABLE IF YOU GO TO ANY HIP COFFEE SHOPPE: Some kind of large scale bike happening that involve art bikes and Recycle a Bike. Cool people en force. Should be going on till Sunday. 4pm: If you spend hours staring at your calendar in wonderment, "Testing the Significance of Calendar Effects," with Asger Lunde of Aghus School of Business in Room 301, Robinson Hall will really blow your hair back. Saturday, September 21 9am: Farmer's Market at Hope High School. Bust a nut with those who knit their own. NOON: Slap Shot in skirts. Field Hockey vs. Columbia. Warner Roof. 6pm: Rites and Reason Theater presents "Wakati," an exposition by Students of Color. 8pm: Liza Minelli won't be there, but hey, would you go if she was? I would. McCormack Family Theater presents: "Once Upon a Weekend: a cabaret of short plays." 9:30pm: Lupo's loves the funk. George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic bring hats and the nasty to lil Rhody. $22 in advance, $25 at the door. TIME UNKNOWN: Stonesthrow Tour featuring Egon, Peanut Butter Wolf, and Madlib at the Century Lounge. West Coast underground. Sunday, September 22 3pm: Go see "Illuminated Manuscripts in the Beinecke Library, Yale University" from the little school from the little town I call home. Ah, New Haven, made of plywood, jellybeans, and nightmares. List Art Center. 9:30pm: Rock around the clock with Flava Flav. Public Enemy's back with attitude, and they're bringing Dilated Peoples and Blackalicious to Lupo's. $20 in advance, $22 day of. Monday, September 23 Sometimes you feel like a nut. Rap the Vote at Lupo's with the Beatnuts and Non Phixion. $15. Wednesday, September 25 He may not have talent, but he sure is easy on the eyes- G. Love & Special Sauce. $15 in advance, $18 day of. Lupo's. Thursday, September 26 Medeski Martin & Wood, if you like that sort of thing. Lupo's. Holy Trinity Movie Rentals: Klute, The Point (songs sampled on Blackalicious' new album!), Sid Caesar's Presents Your Show of Shows. Cinematic Shizzl: Lucia y El Sexo is coming to the Avon. Lots of bang for your buck. Literally. Student of the week: It's a tie! Roger Lederman '03 stoked up the old ego this weekend by quoting the List to me, having no idea its sainted author was standing right before him. A classier fella I couldn't imagine. Last but not least, Jessica Tierney '04.5, just for living in a hut in the woods in Patagonia, tracking huemul and living with gauchos. She's a low fi, high-flying avenger on her purple bicicleta. Go say hey to her at Ocean's. She's really got a spring in her step. |